The Suburban Dad

My Future Olympian!

Unplanned, spontaneous family moments are the best!  As Vancouver is being engulfed by anything Olympic, the torch relay passed by our neighborhood last night.  Unfortunately, we didn't have a camera with us and this is the closest thing we have to capturing the moment.

Thanks to a major Olympic sponsor, celebratory flags were being given out and we grabbed a couple.  While waiting for the motorcade for the torch bearer, we taught our son to wave the flag and say "Go CANADA".

Once he got the hang of it, he can't stop waving the souvenir flag.  He also muttered "Go, Can-DA".  Close enough.

Maybe he'll be our future Olympian.  

The City's All Dressed Up for the Party

Welcome to Vancouver - Host City of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games

Back in 2003, I was really excited about the prospect of Vancouver hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics.  Now a week before the opening ceremonies, I am a bit torn by the whole Olympic movement.  Don't get me wrong, I still think the ideals of the Olympics are noble - bringing peace and uniting nations together through sport. The athletes are amazing and deserve the spotlight for the hard work they've put in. 

Now that it's in my backyard, I am excited yet divided about the whole thing. Yes, it'll be exciting for the city for the duration of the event.  Yes, the world will be seeing what a great city we live in (albeit the lack of snow). Yes, there are intagible benefits that cannot be measured by any scale whatsoever.  But, what are we really left afterwards as community in Vancouver and British Columbia?  Other Olympic-host cities have seen tangible benefits while some have seen no benefit at all (only to be left with mountains of debt and dilapidated facilties).  Sure, the world isn't responsible to what happens to a host city after the event.  But the world expects the host city to pull out the stops for the two-week celebration.  It's like a wedding that's gone way over-budget.  The intentions are noble yet the means may not completely justify the costs.

Having only been aware of the Olympics since 1984, I am curious to look back on what the Olympic movement was like back in the 50's, 60's, and 70's before rampant commercialism and consumerism infiltrated our society.  Was the Olympics more 'pure' in its intentions then? Is there a way for the world to celebrate and unite through sport without spending the GDP of 20 third-world countries combined.

I've come to the conlcusion that Olympic glory is more about individual dreams more than a collective goal of a community or country.  Yes, winning medals will bring a country pride and joy.  But ultimately, it will mean more to the individual who won the medal than the community-at-large. 

Watching and reading all the media stories, if someone didn't know anything about Olympics, they'll probably think it's about drugs, road closures, security concerns, the homeless problem, ticket scalping, or a party Barack Obama can't attend. When the Olympics starts next week, I will be cheering on all the athletes as they are supposed to be what the Olympics are about (except for Lindsey Jacobellis - the showboating American snowboarder who lost her gold medal at the end of her race, but I digress)    GO CANADA GO!

Pop Songs that Will Help Your Kid Learn How to Count

Pop songs, good or bad, leave an indelible impression on all of us.  Driving home yesterday, Britney Spears' "3" was playing on the radio.  I turn to my wife and said, "We could play this song in the background to help Ethan count.  She counts to 3 and sometimes 4."  (Ethan can count to three and then he goes back to two after three).

So in the next five minutes after that, we thought of songs that "can help" kids learn how to count. (in no particular order).

1. Back at One by  Brian McKnight

2. 1-2-3-4 (Get Your Woman on the Floor) by Coolio

3. Step by Step by New Kids on the Block

4. 3 by Britney Spears

5. 1,2 Step by Ciara (for beginner counters)

6. ABC by the Jackson 5 (this one's for the advanced kid since it includes the alphabet)

7. 1,2,3,4 - Feist

Anyone else got any ideas?

Just to prove my point see Feist on Sesame Street:

10 Minute Trainer: It's All the Time I've Got

I used to be pretty active.  Since being a parent, exercise has fallen off the priority list.  Sure, I go snowboarding a handful of times in the winter and play the occasional game of tennis in the summer; I haven't made the effort to be consistent.

When my wife was still pregnant, I bought a 10 day pass at our local community centre gym.  I've only used 2 out of the 10.  Four months after my son was born, my wife saw this infomercial for Beachbody's 10 Minute Trainer.  It's basically a watered down version of their ever popular P90X series.  I purchased it hoping my wife would use it to help her lose some of the pregnancy weight.

So the DVDs have been sitting idly in our entertainment unit since then.  My wife tried it once and thought it was still too intense for her.  Since the new year, I decided to give it a try but took another 3 weeks to get started.  So far, I've done two consecutive days and my arms and chest are pretty sore.  I think this will work out for me as my effort to have some level of physical fitness built in to my daily life.

I'll let you guys know how it goes. 

Photo of the Day: I'm ready to host the Tonight Show!

Terrible Twos starting already?!

I'm not sure what's going on. But the crying fits are becoming more and more frequent with our son.  When he doesn't get what he wants is usually what triggers the crying fits.  I know he doesn't quite understand everything that's going on.  It's certainly not his fault that he doesn't.  But it sure is challenging to deal with these crying fits at times.

How do you balance saying yes to a little toddler's requests and drawing the boundaries?  Obviously, as the parent, you have to be the one to stay in control. Losing it certainly doesn't help.  For me, staying calm and collected in stressful situation is probably the hardest thing for me to do.

Our morning routine usually consists of me bringing our son down for breakfast.  Today, he didn't want to come with me.  He wanted to stay with him mom.  I brought him down anyways and as soon as we got downstairs, he started a crying fit.  God bless him, if he wants something, he knows how to get it.  So he climbed up the stairs and ran towards our bedroom.  At this point, all I can do is surrender as I needed to get breakfast ready.  My wife managed to calm him down.  In the end, he wanted her to go down with him and he wanted his milk. He usually knows how to sign please when he wants something.  In the last week or so, the pleases have turned into a pointing motion to whatever is he wants with a 'there, there' (in a toddler voice). 

I found an article that finds the bright side with toddler behaviour from Today's Parent Magazine.  But in the end they concede, that toddlers can be a handful.  Luckily for us parents, their charm and enthusiasm redeems all those temper tantrums.

Bedtime Stories - toddler bed and bedtime woes

Last week our son learned how to climb out of his crib.  As a knee jerk reaction, we opted to convert his crib into a toddler bed by taking out one of the sidewalls.  We were concerned he would try to climb out of his crib in the middle of the night and hurt himself.

Luckily, it was a blessing in disguise.  He is thoroughly enjoying his little bed and even preferred to be read his bedtime story in it on the first night. 

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Our son is really sociable.  He loves being around people especially when we have family and friends over.  Last night, we had a small gathering of friends and he obviously wanted to be part of the action.  It was already past 9 p.m. (he's usually asleep by 8:30), I thought it would be appropriate to cut his party time short and start putting him to bed. 

I asked him, "Ethan - bedtime?"

He confidently replied, "No, no no" with his little toddler voice.

Trying to be the responsible parent, I decided to not heed to his request and bring him upstairs.  Realizing that he was being taken away from the party, he voiced is displeasure and went on a crying fit.  My wife managed to get him into his pyjamas but he was still insisting to go downstairs.

After 30-40 minutes of trying to appease him, I gave up the fight and just brought him downstairs.  I just asked him to sign 'please' if he wants to go downstairs, and he promptly calmed down and stopped crying.  Everyone left around at 1030 and he politely said goodbye to all our guests.

We all went upstairs and lied down on our bed and he fell asleep within 5 minutes.  So what to do next time?  Let him just enjoy the party or force him to go to bed?

Benefits of Hiring a Nanny (Response to Daycare Choices post)

Received a great comment from Candi from Nannies4Hire.com.  It's worth a re-post as a response to my previous entry - Daycare Choices - home care, group care, grandparents, nannies?

In today’s society, there are many benefits of hiring a nanny:

1. COST. If you have two or more children, it may be cost effective for you to hire a nanny as many daycare centers can cost you more. Also, many families are using “nanny share”. This is an arrangement in which two families share one nanny. This cuts down on costs but you still experience the benefits of having a nanny.

2. HEALTH OF THE CHILDREN. You may have healthier children by keeping them away from the large groups of children typically found in daycare. Germs are easily spread from child to child, so daycare centers can be breeding grounds for every cold and flu of the season. When your children contract illnesses, it takes an emotional toll on both you and your children. Further, they may miss school, you may miss work, and you may incur expenses associated with doctor’s visits and medications. Your children’s exposure to germs, and thus the risks discussed here, can be dramatically diminished by simply using the services of a nanny. 

3. WORKPLACE PRODUCTIVITY. If your children are sick, many daycare centers will not accept your children. However, if you have a nanny, you can still go to work as the nanny will stay home with the children. Further, if you have an attentive nanny at home with your children, you will be less likely to feel like you just can’t concentrate at work due to concern for your children. By staying focused at work, your workplace productivity remains high.

4. HOME WORKLOAD DELEGATION. A nanny can help you maintain work/life balance. For example, a nanny can be an extra pair of hands helping with household duties such as laundry, errands, transporting children, and starting the evening meal. This allows for more quality family time when the parents arrive home. No need to rush in the morning to get the kids out the door for daycare or school: a nanny is an extra pair of hands in the morning....

Source: http://blog.nannies4hire.com/benefits-of-hiring-a-nanny-2/309

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I can totally appreciate the points made in this post.  I had a nanny growing up and it sure made my parents' lives a lot easier. 

In regards to point #2, having a sick child is certainly a challenge however way you look at it. But to say, your child is better protected at home from sickness might be a slippery slope argument.  In this anti-bacterial society we have, treating your home like a bubble for sickness isn't necessarily the best thing either. 

There are certainly circumstances in which a child might be better off at home.  All in all, there are many more factors that affect health in general such as sleep, diet, mental well-being.  Finally on this point, children do have something called 'an immune system'.

Again, regardless of your daycare situation, there are circumstances you can't control.  Getting sick is one of them. Nannies get sick too.  In that case, a parent still needs to find an alternate solution. I'm sure nanny services such as Nannies4Hire have alternate nannies.

My wife and I had a nanny for our son between 12 and 15 months before we put him in daycare.  Our nanny was great and do appreciate points #3 and #4.  My wife and I would probably consider a nanny when we have another child or more.  A friend of ours recently had twin boys on top of her already 2 toddler boys.  In this case, I can see how a nanny would be more beneficial.

I wish all the best to nannies out there!  There are days when I wish Mary Poppins would fly into our house.

Note: TheSuburbanDad.com is not endorsing Nannies4Hire.com.

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Daycare Choices - home care, group care, grandparents, nannies?

Unless your a stay-at-home parent, most parents need a form of daycare - whether it's at a group licensed daycare, a home daycare, a nanny, a babysitter, grandparents, or after school care.

My wife and I are still new parents.  We're still figuring out what works best of our family.  I'm sure we will have to readjust all over again when we have a second one or more?  Our reality is both of us have to work and so we need daycare for our son.  We are fortunate enough that the son's daycare is very good.  After three months of adjusting to the daycare, he thoroughly enjoys being there with the other kids.  He's able to interact with other kids and hone his social skills.

He's still learning.  The other day, he stuck his finger in another kid's mouth and got bitten.  We've had quite a few incident reports about him getting bit.  It's all part of the learning process for him.  For us, we're quite happy with the way things are going for him at the daycare.  Before, he used to cry every time we drop him off in the morning.  Now, he smiles when he sees the other kids and waves goodbye to us.  

When we pick him up in the afternoon, he's elated to see us but nowhere near the feeling that he's been wanting to be 'rescued' the whole time he was there.  There are days, when he's having a good time playing, he doesn't want to leave quite yet.  Yes we know the argument here, is that we miss what happens with him between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m.  For us, we feel where he is during the day, he'll get more out of it if he was at home all day by himself.

It's funny, some people who have asked us where is our son while we work, they're surprised when we say he's in daycare. In the Filipino culture (especially in the Philippines), everyone has a nanny (or 'yaya').   People have children and don't worry about finding a daycare since they can just hire a 'nanny' easily and cheaply.  Here in North America, a live-out full-time nanny can cost a family about $1500-$1800 a month depending on what they do on top of watching your kid and the number of kids.  A live-out or live-in nanny becomes more worth it when you have multiple children since a group daycare can cost you $700-$1200 a month/kid depending on where you live. 

Every family makes their own choices on daycare based on their circumstances.  Some choose to have be stay-at-home parents. Some choose to have a nanny.  Some are lucky to have family able to help out.  Some to choose to send their kids to group daycare.  I feel one choice is not better than the other.  All have their respective advantages and challenges.  

Parenting is hard work. You have to work with your daycare provider to provide the most ideal situation for everyone, most especially to your little one.  Whatever solution you think works best for your family, more power to you!

How about kids getting sick at a group daycare?

Ever heard the comments group daycare is an invitation for sickness.  I've heard a few people say, they're never sending their kids to group daycare for that reason.  When I hear comments like that, it's a little bit annoying.  It's a disservice to the staff of a group daycare who do a great job in maintaining a safe, happy environment for the kids.  It's a disservice to parents who send their children to group daycares which implies they just let their kids run loose with germs.

The reality is, kids get sick, but so do adults.  Ever count how many sick days people use at your respective workplace during flu season.  As a parent, you do have to do your due diligence to make sure your daycare has a policy regarding handling sickness and also to not send your kids if they are contagiously sick.  But to say, your kid gets sick solely on the basis they're in daycare is a little bit unfair. 

We've had our son sent home and not allowed to come back for at least two days of being symptom free. Any sign of diarrhea or vomit, our daycare sends the kid home as soon as possible. It's hard when your kid gets sick.  When you can't send them to daycare, finding an alternate solution can be challenging. It's important to have a back-up plan just in case.  Do you have your parents or other parent friends living nearby who can be your back-up?

Here's a previous blog post about Sick Kids - Stay home or send to daycare?