The Suburban Dad

8 Days Before Christmas and the house is looking like a disaster zone

The common sentiment among many of my parent friends is that there's really not enough time to keep your house spic and span 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  Some have resorted to hiring cleaning ladies to help keep up with the day-to-day chores.  I would love someone to clean the house once a week but at this point it's more a luxury than a need.

It's not everyday that our house is a 'disaster' zone but when things get busy (like around the Holidays) ...things just start to pile on top of each other.  It's 8 days before Christmas and there is lots to do to get ready!  From unwrapped presents to laundry to groceries to scattered toys.....everywhere I look there's something that needs to be done.   We won't kill ourselves over a laundry basket that hasn't been put away for a couple days. We know that things will get done.....eventually.

I'm sure a lot of parents will agree that sometimes you feel that you can't catch up to where you really want to be. My wife and I just try to really try to have a sense of humour about everything.   She's really good at keeping things in perspective.  I think I mentioned before that I asked her once why she doesn't 'worry'.  She said it's because, "I'm just a happy person". 

She's just a happy person she says.  Phew! At least one of us is in a generally happy state 24/7.  Meanwhile, I tend to think of the micro-details of everything and get caught up in its web too often.  I struggle to get myself untangled.  When I get those moments, I hear my friend's voice in my head saying -- "Don't get too stressed out - STOP CARING SO MUCH!"  It's not that I shouldn't care.  I just need to 'relax' a little. 

A year and a half into this parenting business, I'm not really sure if it's getting 'easier'.  As each month passes, the previous month just becomes a bit of a blur.  Each month I just think -- we survived another one.  I take comfort that my wife and I are still standing -- together.

Getting married and raising a family was what we wanted for our life as a couple.  The 'reality' is just a tad different from the 'dream'.  But I'd rather have the reality over it just being a 'dream'.  Every time I see our son sleeping peacefully each night, it's enough of an accomplishment for the day.  All the dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, and whatever chore that's been left undone -- doesn't seem so important.  Whatever we did during the day that allowed our son to sleep peacefully - it's enough.

This is truly all we could hope for each day.  Tomorrow we will try again.

'Ohana' mean family

From Wikipedia:

Part of Hawaiian culture, ohana means family in an extended sense of the term including blood-related, adoptive or intentional. It emphasizes that family are bound together and members must cooperate and remember one another.

Some of you may recognize the word from the movie Lilo and Stitch. - "Ohana means family - no one gets left behind."

Today was one of those days when everything seemed to pile on top of each other.  Being the dad (maybe some of you other dads can relate), you have the tendency to want to 'fix' things.  I think it's a guy thing to do.  Ironically, most of the time, my wife says that there really isn't much 'fixing' that needs to be done. 

I remembered the quote from Lilo and Stitch as I thought about what to share today.  I know - I'm taking perspective from a kid's movie. But seriously, the 'no one gets left behind part' speaks volumes to how I feel most of the time being a 'dad'.  You don't want anything to be left behind -- not your marriage, not your child, not your professional life, and most especially not your family life.  Most days feel like a puzzle as you try to fit all the pieces together. 

I just need to take a deep breath.